Superhero
by Phi-chama
Summary: Meiran's thoughts on her life and her mission, leading up to her death.


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My very first Wufei+Meiran ficcie. Hopefully the precursor  
to many more? =) One thing before it starts: Meiran is hard to write,  
especially in first person. I hope I didn't butcher her too badly. Any  
comments/criticisms about her portrayal would be most appreciated.  
Huggles go out to Elly and Michiru over at Meiran.org for  
(inadvertantly) helping me with figuring out her character. Merci  
bien! =)  
The fic is kind of repetitive, but Meiran seems pretty  
focused on her justice to me, so it's only natural that she would keep  
coming back to certain points.  
"Superhero" is written and performed by Garrison Starr. I  
don't own. Usual stuff like that.  
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WARNINGS: Death. Probably angst, too.  
Usual disclaimers apply.  
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Superhero  
by Phi [umezaki@postmark.net | http://aurabuster.net]  
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//We are ten years old//  
  
Of course, I would end up with such a weakling. The  
universe has not been kind.  
  
He is a "scholar" -- simply another word for a soft-minded  
coward. He thinks of nothing but his precious books; he doesn't care  
about how we all suffer under the crushing heel of OZ and its forces.  
He is not a true man. He will not fight for our freedom -- for our  
justice.  
  
And he is now my husband. For now and ever after. Truly,  
the universe is cruel.  
  
//We are holding our breath... underwater//  
  
My mother tells me that I must learn to curb my temper. To  
not upset my mate. I scoff at her, and ask how she can consider him  
my "mate." He is more like something I must protect, like a young  
child who is too ignorant for his own good. My mother doesn't like it  
when I talk like that. She says that he will surprise me.  
  
I doubt it.  
  
//Eardrums bursting from the pressure//  
  
I thought, foolishly, that perhaps he would change once we  
were wed, that somehow I could influence him enough to change his  
ways. But he had simply ignored me and continued with those idiotic  
books of his.  
  
So I laughed at him, and taunted him about his weakness.  
"Why won't you fight?" I asked him. "Are you too afraid?" He said  
nothing in return.  
  
//We can't touch the bottom//  
  
But I am not afraid. I was born with the blood of a thousand  
fighters running through my viens -- and the soul of the greatest  
warrior the Clans have ever known entombed within my heart. I am not   
afriad. I am Nataku.  
  
And I ~will~ fight for justice.  
  
//Won't you come away...with me//  
  
I am in the right. Those who are right cannot fail; they  
simply can't.  
  
He calls me blind. Naive. I growl at those words -- who is he  
to judge? How he can watch what is happening around us, and not  
react? He is the one with tightly closed eyes, refusing to raise his  
head out those dust-ridden stacks of paper.  
  
//Oh we are flying high  
Above the carpet under feet//  
  
Since he does nothing, I will be the Clans' savior. I will lead  
them into battle, glorious and shining in my righteousness. I will forgo  
my womanhood, and become as a blade -- sharp, sexless, deadly. I  
am Nataku. I am ready.  
  
Perhaps... perhaps, he would respond to ~that~.  
  
//And we are airplanes today//  
  
There is a scientist close by, who is building what are  
surely to be the greatest weapons in the long history of human  
suffering. Even he is a fool, though. He relies on that weakling  
husband of mine too much. Such misplaced confidence.  
  
If only I was the one to pilot the stronger machine, instead  
of this inferior model. I would show them -- show them all. The  
Colonies and the Clans will be victorious.  
  
//We can do anything  
Oh we can do anything//  
  
The OZ scum will impale themselves easily on the sword of  
my divine justice, their last breaths cursing the holy name of Nataku.  
  
Yes. I like that image.  
  
And yet, he still defies me. I cannot understand. We are  
both too stubborn for our own good, I think, but I will not back down. I  
know that I am right, that I am the stronger one. If only he would stop  
obstructing my path.  
  
//And I don't ever wanna leave the stage//  
  
My mother says that I will grow used to him after a while. It  
was the same way for her and my father, she says. She says many  
things, to none of which I listen. But I am no longer a woman. Such  
trivalties do not matter to me.  
  
Now, he is nothing more than an annoying fly. I think... if I  
tell myself that enough times, I will come to accept it as truth.  
  
//I am a superhero these days//  
  
Truth. What is truth?  
  
~I~ am truth. I see all things clearly as a cloudless sky on  
a sunny summer day; I will rain down truth on their heads, and make  
them see their errors. I am truth, truth is I. We are one,  
interchangable being.  
  
Truth is justice. Nataku will bring justice to all.  
  
//And I don't ever wanna leave my age//  
  
Death is of no concern to me. I am but a soldier in a great  
heavenly war. My purpose is simply to be the judge of those who  
would exploit the weaker, for I am stronger than them all. Death is  
nothing but a transformation to a higher state, and I will continue to  
fight even there.  
  
The universe will know my wrath.  
  
//I am a superhero these days//  
  
My chance is coming, I can feel it. The smell of unspilled  
blood lies heavy in the air. It is a sickening odor, but it calls to me as  
well. I cannot ignore my duty as Nataku. I will save them all, with my  
superior strength.  
  
Sometimes... sometimes, in my weaker moments, I like to  
think about what my life would have been like, had I not had the soul  
of Nataku burning bright within me. I would not have to fight. I... could  
be a woman.  
  
But such thoughts are soft.  
  
//Baby where am I gonna go  
There must be a place for me I know//  
  
The bastards are attacking us, just as I have predicted.  
They find perverted pleasure in the pain of my people. I know that I  
shall be the only one to stand against them; my weakling husband  
would never think of doing such a thing. Oh, how I hate his  
stubbornness and his blind eyes and his foolish convictions that  
there is no justice. I cannot rely on him to help me.  
  
My time has come.  
  
//Try and try as I may  
I can't make sense of a word I say//  
  
I wish I could pilot the other machine, but it is my  
husband's, and it would not be right to steal it from him. As much as  
he doesn't deserve it, it is his.  
  
The sheer power of this machine... truly, it has the strength  
to hand out my justice. I ~will~ fight. To protect those who cannot  
save themselves.  
  
The flowers are dying. I must move.  
  
//Touch my cape I'll take you  
C'mon touch my cape I'll take you  
C'mon touch my cape we're gonna make a whole new world//  
  
I had not expected... to feel this much pain. Why am I  
hurting? I am in the right -- why is the universe allowing this? I am  
Nataku! I am justice! I ~will~ win!  
  
It hurts so much, to even move. But... he is here now. The  
last thing I ever expected to see, but he is with me, and fighting. And  
doing better than I ever could have done.  
  
The anger boiled inside of me... yet, something told me that  
this was right. I couldn't explain it, but watching him attack with such  
fierceness felt... ~right~. He ordered me to get out, and I complied.  
A wife should listen to her husband. Yes.  
  
Something... happened. I'm not sure what. Something with  
the mobile suits. The pain is so strong. I wish... I wish I could just lie  
here forever, and drift into space. Surely, Nataku would find someone  
worthier than I.  
  
//And I don't ever wanna leave the stage//  
  
I think... I lied about death. I don't want to die. There is still   
to much to be done, to be felt.  
  
My husband has taken me to the field of flowers, like I  
asked him to. The one I protected. I protected it well, didn't I? The  
flowers are beautiful, in their fragility. I had never thought of flowers  
in that sense, before.  
  
//I am a superhero these days//  
  
I ask him what I need to hear most, and he tells me that I  
was strong. I should not be ashamed. I was strong.  
  
//And I don't ever wanna leave my age//  
  
I surprise myself by smiling at him, even as I can feel the  
blood of a thousand warriors pouring from my battered body. You are   
strong, Chang Wufei... stronger than I gave you credit for.  
  
I think.... You will do.  
  
//I am a superhero these days//  
  
You will do.  
  
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